Adopting a New Cat


♪♪ [APPLAUSE]>>JOHN, CAN WE TAKE HOME ALL OF THESE KITTIES? THIS ANIMAL SHELTER BREAKS MY HEART.>>[LAUGHS] I KNOW, BABE, BUT WE ONLY HAVE ROOM FOR ONE, SO…>>YOU’RE RIGHT.>>YEAH. SO YOU SEE ONE THAT YOU LIKE?>>YEAH, I THINK I SEE HIM.>>OH, IS IT THAT ORANGE STRIPED ONE?>>NO, IT’S THIS BLACK FLUFFY ONE!>>MEOW.>>THAT’S A HUMAN.>>I KNOW. HE’S GOT SUCH A HUMAN SPIRIT ABOUT HIM.>>NO, NO. BY HUMAN, I MEAN I’M PRETTY SURE THAT’S THE HOMELESS DUDE WE SAW DIGGING IN THE DUMPSTER OUTSIDE.>>NO WAY. HE’S WAY TOO CAT-LIKE TO BE A HUMAN. COME HERE, YOU LITTLE MUSTACHE LION.>>WHAT? HONEY, IF THIS IS A CAT, WHY ISN’T HE IN A CAGE LIKE THE OTHER CATS?>>I DON’T KNOW. SIR? IS THIS ONE OF YOUR CATS?>>ALSO, IS THIS A CAT?>>HEY, I THOUGHT I TOLD YOU TO STAY IN YOUR CAGE, LITTLE GUY. HE’S ONE OF OURS.>>OH, YOU DON’T NEED TO PUT HIM IN HIS CAGE. WE WANT TO ADOPT HIM.>>WAIT, WHAT?>>GREAT. I’LL GO GET THE PAPERWORK.>>YAY!>>HONEY, LET’S THINK ABOUT THIS. IF WE’RE GOING TO ADOPT A CAT, LET’S MAKE SURE IT’S A CAT.>>IF HE’S NOT A CAT, THEN WHY IS HE WEARING A COLLAR?>>YOU MEAN THIS TACO TIME TO-GO BAG?>>PLUS LOOK AT ITS BELLY! IT’S SO SOFT. FEEL IT.>>NO, NO, NO, NO, NO. HONEY, DON’T. I JUST- OKAY.>>FEEL IT, FEEL IT.>>OKAY, WOW. THAT IS SOFT. GROSS.>>AND LOOK, HIS DRIVER’S LICENSE SAYS HIS NAME IS STEVE.>>OKAY- >>THAT IS SO CUTE.>>OKAY, OKAY. WHY WOULD A CAT HAVE A DRIVER’S LICENSE?>>HE’S DRINKING MILK. CATS DRINK MILK.>>YOU DIDN’T EVEN ANSWER MY- WHAT- WHAT THE?…>>HE’S SMART.>>OH, AND LOOK. LOOK, LOOK. HE HAS A TATTOO. WHY WOULD A CAT HAVE A TATTOO?>>I WAS IN A CAT GANG.>>HE JUST VOCALIZED.>>SEE, HE NEEDS A STABLE HOME. WELL, STEVE, YOU HAVE A NEW MOMMY AND DADDY NOW.>>WHAT? WHAT? HONEY, NO. AND IF HE’S A CAT, HE’LL LAND ON ALL FOURS, RIGHT?>>OKAY. I GUESS. JOHN!>>HISS. HISS.>>WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT?>>HONEY, THERE IS NO WAY WE ARE ADOPTING THIS MAN-CAT.>>OH, I’M AFRAID IF YOU DON’T ADOPT HIM, HE’S SCHEDULED TO BE PUT DOWN TODAY.>>MEOW. MEOW. MEOW. MEOW.>>OKAY, I CAN’T BELIEVE I’M DOING THIS.>>YAY!>>WHAT?>>LET’S GO!>>CAN WE GO TO BURGER KING ON THE WAY HOME?>>DUDE, WHATEVER, MAN. [APPLAUSE] >>SUBSCRIBE. I MEAN, MEOW.>>YOU’RE NOT FOOLING ANYBODY.>>LIKE. PURR.>>STOP.>>DON’T TAKE THAT TONE WITH OUR BABY.>>HE IS NOT OUR BABY.>>OH MY GOODNESS. I AM SO SORRY, STEVE. STEVE. THERE WE GO.

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