DNA Junkies – Crazy Karottensaft (S1, E3)


NEIL: Hey, what was that for a Gin – Tonic? Oh, I drink no alcohol. Crazy Carrot Juice. JAN That’s Maja and Neil … What’s that for a date? And what is my Nana doing there? SPERM: I’m coming in there, ow, that hurt. Look at me, Mom! NEIGHBOUR: Chic nightgown, oh and Jan topless. Pretty Tits, you! Nana, you have made a good catch, I can not say it enough. Hello, I am Lisa. MAJA: I’m Maja. Oh, sorry, I’ve just creamed my hands. NEIGHBOUR: Hmm, smells a bit
disgusting. JAN That our neighbor must always poke their noses everywhere. MAJA: Yes, but this here is rich.
NEIGHBOUR: Yes? Yes, is rich and is quickly absorbed. Oh there occurs to me, I still have a packet of yours over there. Jan, you come with me? Then we have done that. MAJA: Mhmmm, she knows what’s good! NANA: Wow, that was really disgusting. What if she now masturbates with sperm on her hands? Does it make her pregnant? MAJA: The sperms are dead by now. Tell me, how did you made it that Jan used a condom? NANA: I just told him, “I’ve captured in the steam sauna chlamydia.” MAJA: Very nice! And a condom you put upstairs in the trash? NANA: I have stored one there. Now tell, what’s about the guy?
MAJA: Oh God, I think I’ve just smeared sperms in my eye? I get herpes !!! JAN: things that even a man
can happen. MAJA: Oh man, oh shit, Nana, I do not know, how could this happen to me. I can not even have sex with this guy, because he is a stranger and I’m also afraid of STDs and condoms no longer protects against everything. NANA: Please from the beginning. I don’t get anything. What happened? NEIL: Come my mice. Come here! Come my sweet four. NANA: four?
MAJA: These are probably the drugs because he sees double, triple, etc. … every now and then. So okay, we went for a drink, you know, and that was all very nice, and then suddenly he began to come closer … and then I had such strange feelings in my stomach, and then I thought … NANA: the feeling are called butterflies in your stomach. You fell in love. MAJA: Nonsense, I have taken Ritalin, in no case! It suppressed feelings. I’m not in love. NANA: Maybe the effect had subsided? I’m happy for you. MAJA: No, Nana, it is not. NANA: Okay, and why did you dragged him into the garage and not home? MAJA: Because I do not want my neighbors think badly of me.
NANA: Because blue moon times a man stops by? MAJA: Right! NEIL: Everybody dance now! Yes, come to daddy, come, come! Come here! Come to daddy! Oh, what was that for a gin tonic? Oh, I drink no alcohol. Crazy Carrot Juice. MAJA: Okay! MAJA: Help me, I need his sperm. NANA: But how? MAJA: I do not know well, help me easy! Sleep with him! NANA: Are you crazy? MAJA: At least with your hand? NANA: I’m not a whore? MAJA: But you like sex! NANA: But not with a victim! This is rape. MAJA: He will not note anything about it.
NANA: I see. Well then! That’s the same argument of that drug-dealer types in the nightclubs, you bastard! NEIL: Ladies, I have to tell you what. NANA: Yes? NEIL: I have to throw up. MAJA: Oh, that was very informative! NEIL: I think I can not go. I feel so heavy and just as tied. It usually does not happen to me. Normally I would get you lucky! NANA: Get a penis pump from the Reeperbahn!
MAJA: Yes, very good idea. What’s that? NANA: Well, at least a device is doing the job and we have no direct contact with him, although he seems very clean. MAJA: Haha clean, yes, you don’t have to look 5 days a week between the legs of women and don’t have to see these cauliflower-like tumors that the gynecologist’s chair presents you every day … Nene, y’know what? Everything clean women. Outside hooey, inside fooey! NANA: Okay, then just ask him if he wants to donate a bit. Hey you, tell me, do you want to donate your sperm? MAJA: I’ve been wondering that he can withstand so much. NANA: Oh no, the poor! What do you think, about taking him to your place? I mean, then he can at least sleep it off and you you can calmly consider how you get his sperm. You know what? Just let him think, you both were making love. He will
come back! Men work just like that. They always want to know how it must have been. MAJA: Very nice! I drive to the Reeperbahn and get a pump. NANA: Maja, it is a human. Who also has feelings.
MAJA: Yes, but not now. NANA: Maja, now please take him home. MAJA: Can I please let him here in the garage? NANA: Maja! MAJA: Okay! NEIL: I feel so bad. I want my mom.
NANA: Look, is not that sweet?
MAJA: victim! MAJA: Come, victim! NANA: Come on, we’re on! MAJA: Oh cursed, he is heavy. Next time I’ll take a little intelligent Ottoman. NANA: He did not just puked on my new flip flops, right? MAJA: Indeed! Right between your toes. NANA: You’re such a Bratz!
MAJA: What? Never call me again Bratz!
NANA: It’s all right! Relax. JAN Although it seemed almost impossible. Maja has made with the help of the utensil from the Reeperbahn to steal the sperm of the poor Neil to make her two customers happy. Her contribution to a better world without Bratz children.

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